Shafted 21/09

He Said...

We woke well rested at around 9 .30 and headed down for our complimentary breakfast, if I hadn't  known better I would swear it had been prepared by Joe Rogan, it was the Fear Factor buffet, much like the menu in last nights restaurant it was sea urchins, spleens, gizzards, green eggs and things I can't even begin to describe.Thankfully they also had cereal, coffee and toast.

Our plan today was to organise Tibet (you need a special permit) and sightsee the Forbidden City and Tiananmen Square, all on foot. Ais bought a bunch of silverish anklets in India with bells on ( stealth anklets I call them), worn on both ankles- it's like being followed by a troop of Morris Dancers, the Chinese certainly seemed fascinated by them, my fascination wore off after 5 minutes.

Tibet organised, somewhat expensively due to our late booking (something about black market tickets) we headed to the Forbidden City. Another point of note in Beijing is the Executive Hobo's, homeless people appear to have their own private street space and have accumulated sofas, clothes rails and washing lines- they don't seem to beg just reside- a la Rue.

In terms of Palaces the Chinese have the Indians pimped, the FC is vast, with dressing rooms, sleeping rooms, frolicking rooms, resting rooms ( cos it's so damn big) and a very tranquil  garden area full of Cedar and Cypress trees. We arrived mid afternoon and had only covered half by 6pm when we were ordered out by a short man with a large megaphone.
Just opposite are the Imperial Gardens, created by Emperor Ming just after he defeated Flash Gordon, it appears to be the highest natural ( although it was man-made) land in Beijing creating a great panorama of the city, the sunset and the smog.

We headed back to the main town for food and ran the gauntlet of street vendors selling gullible tourists every manner of toys*, speaking of which every shop, vendor and hawker in the city seem to purposefully  shaft tourists, especially white non English speaking, it's like this...

"Hello Chinese Lady, how much for that Chintzy item?"
"100 thingies"
"I'm sorry you must be mistaking me for a tosser, how much?"
"Ok for you 80 thingies"
"Ma'am you are on Hallucinogens!"
"Ok I do for 60"
"Thank you for your time I am leaving now"
"Ok special for you, 40"
"Goodbye"
......
"Ok, ok, ok 30 lowest price"
"I'll pay 20"
.......
Okokokokokokok  20 ( mumbling of Chines swear words)
"Deal!"

We ate very local this evening in a small packed noodle house, we mastered the phrase "I am allergic to mushrooms". I made the mistake of cutting open a pork dumpling, one should not view the contents, if they smell like pork, chances are, maybe, they might have seen some pork...or not...woof!
The meal was concluded with a round of chocolate pancakes from one of the traveller hang outs. Pepto Bismal it is.
We checkout tomorrow and may have to Hostel it.

* I bought the coolest kite, no really it is!