Nissan Sunny 28/10

He Said...

We took a shuttle to the airport for our car pick up. Again to save cash we took an economy car, erm, it had a cassette player...only, and the door opened with a key!

By the time the woman had finished doing a check of the car for scratches and dents it looked as though she had sneezed biro on the page. Nevertheless it ran and we set off due West over Arthurs pass and through the Southern Alps to the Fox Glacier.

It is truly a spectacular drive, I don't know anywhere else on earth where you can look out of the drivers window and see rolling surf and white sandy beaches and then through the passenger window and see temperate rainforest and jungle then pine forests giving way to 10,000ft snowcapped mountains.

We had 380 odd kilometres to cover and it was flying by as the roads were quiet and the weather clear, it was all going well, we even stopped in a lay-by to take in the view only to be accosted by the Worlds only Alpine parrot- the Kea which means 'big ass nosey bird.'
But then as we pulled out of the lay-by, behind us a big blue articulated truck was using it's engine brakes to slow down on the steep incline, as we bottomed out of the ravine the truck caught up, then it did more than catch up, it actually got so close I could read not just the number plate but count the bugs on the grill, now you have to bear in mind that these are windy back country roads with no passing places so we have gone from quiet country drive to being Denis Hopper in the film classic - 'The Duel' ( rent it)
The speed limit is 100kph and I'm at 120 and this chap is still on my ass, even up hill he's never out of my mirror, now if I pull over he's going to gut us both with a paring knife, but then if I keep going he's going to nudge us over a cliff, but maybe if I brake hard and cause him to jack knife, I can pull on the hand brake with full right lock on, rotating 180 degrees as the trialer comes at me side on across the road and slide underneath him as he passes me in the road and falls off the cliff and into oblivion. So I decide to pull into a gas station and let him pass- not so scary then.

We arrive at Franz Josef and 20 minutes later Fox Glacier, we are surrounded by the Southern Alps and the snow capped twin peaks of Mt Cook and Mt Tasman. Mt Cook the tallest peak in New Zealand, at 3400 and something meters, is still lower than our Tibet hotel.

Now if you look at your digital camera, if it has a 'scene' setting there will be one called 'landscape' with a classic picture of an obscure mountain range reflected in a mirror-like lake, surrounded by pine trees, well here it be, Lake Matheson and the Southern Alps.

Motel for the night, Salmon and steak for dinner. Just Whitebait, Mussels, Rack of Lamb and Venison to check off the 'eat' list now, oh and a local Pinot Noir.

Ferry, Train and Automobile 27/10

He Said...

Another early start to catch the 8 am ferry to Picton, the journey across the Cook Strait (named after Gary Rhodes, probably, or Gordon Ramsey even) takes 4 hours, the ferry, it appears, from all the French nomenclature, to be an ex English channel ferry, so second hand then.
It's not getting any warmer so the jeans and Joseph fleece are back out.
Everyone in New Zealand is English, or at lease everyone I speak to, I can't imagine there are any gap year students left in Blighty, everyone else is Japanse ( I think there is a direct train route)

We grabbed a bite to eat in Picton before boarding the Pacific Coastal train for our 5 hour journey down the East Coast of the South Island to Christchurch, we set off through wine country, apparently this right hand corner receives twice as much sunlight as anywhere in New Zealand, so at least an hour a week then.

For all you trainophobes this journey is 347km, with 21 tunnels and 175 bridges, the train is a damn site faster than the last one so it's all a bit of a blur....and I fell asleep, so just imagine the rest...wine....whales...seals...sunshine.

In February of this year Christchurch was hit by an earthquake measuring 6.3 on the Richter scale, already rocked by a larger quake in November last year, already weak buildings were felled and 181 people lost their lives.
I wasn't really sure what to expect as we pulled into the station, it all seemed normal...
But then, when you look closer, as we drove in the taxi, you can follow cracks down the pavement, then they turn right up a wall, exploding it, or left up a building, splitting it in two.

The severity of it all didn't become apparent until we walked to the town centre - because we couldn't, it was all closed down...condemned. An 8 ft high fence sounded the entire central business district, you could see shattered glass, masonry and an upheaval in the road. When we walked around the fence line, buildings outside the zone had been uprooted from there foundations leaving a 4 " gap all around, restaurants were locked and empty, tables still set, a layer of dust on the tables, chairs knocked over as people had rushed out. Each building had it's own special marking designating its status: red for condemned, orange for under review and green for habitable. It was the silent eeriness of the place, no pedestrians no noise...difficult to describe. After walking an hour we managed to find one restaurant serving food, it must have been the only one open, as it was packed.

As a part of our budget accommodation drive we were staying at the YMCA, however our room was just a room with a shared bathroom, which apparently wouldn't do. In England if you want to use the bathroom it costs 20 pence, in Christchurch at the YMCA, it costs another $40. It maybe fun to stay at the YMCA, but it's not cheap to poop...I didn't see that in the lyrics

We pick up our car here tomorrow for the next 700 miles.

More train 26/10

He Said...

So here we are at the 'BritoMart Train Complex' at 6.30am, our train departs at 7.25am so we stock up on a few goodies and check in with the Train Manager on Platform number 3. Our bags are taken into the luggage car and we are shown to our seats, there are only 2 carriages and a dining car, the windows are huge and the rear of the train has an observation deck with a glass back, you can also wonder outside onto a small viewing platform behind the engine car.

It's the kind of train that Steven Seagal had in that movie where he was a n ex Special Forces Chef, except we don't have an upper deck or terrorists with a stolen seismic satellite laser or Katherine Heigel....pause...reflect...continue.

The train bisects the North island climbing to the volcanic plateau of 'National Park' and through its ski areas, passing around the base of three dormant volcanoes, covering 681 km, through 14 tunnels and crossing 352 bridges, I counted them all.
It's the best train journey so far with spacious seats, a stocked canteen and no smoking, (I so nearly said no Chinese, but then changed my mind) at several points we can see the railway below us as we chug through switchbacks, horseshoes and a full corkscrew as we climb over 1200 metres in less than 2 km distance, but 7 km of track.

We get one leg stretch stop and the long journey passes quite quickly without event. As we descend into the clouds shrouding Wellington it becomes apparent that the city was named after the boots you have to wear to live here, a short taxi ride takes us to the Shepherds Arms, our lodgings for the evening, which are happily spacious, clean and accommodating. The attached bar and restaurant provided typical pub fayre so we chowed down on Lamb Shank and Pie and Chips with local microbrewery ale.

I am yet to sample the staple West coast food of Whitebait ( small lightly battered fish) primarily because I can't find it anywhere, yet. In the South island, Lonely Planet says, we should eat Venison and Steak so that shouldnt be a problem washed down with a Marlborough region vino.

Our weight loss plan has basically gone to shit, but not literally as we had hoped may be the case, even the sporadic exercise I have squeezed in hasn't much helped, maybe the adrenalin pumping activities of Queenstown will change that- nevertheless we have declared the South Island a Carb free zone, so we'll see how long that lasts then.

Layday 25/10

He Said...

We were actually up at 10 this morning, so that's good then. We believe Ais is cured of all ailments so we set off for an invigorating beach walk/run, only this time when the beach ended...we carried on, another 4 kilometres or so, following the cliff line, boulder and rock pool hopping, passing rivers that just flowed right off the cliff face and trees, horizontal from the cliff, seemingly hanging on for dear life.
Thankfully as we passed through the nudist beach ( think pink fat blokes in cowboy hats) the trees were the only wood we saw, and when I say we, I don't mean me 'cos I wasn't looking.

Our beach jaunt ended at an estuary so we cut in and followed the trail back over the top of the cliffs, I, in my wisdom, decided to run back thinking it would be a nice flat trail....no siree Bob, it was not, but thankfully I had a good 15 minutes of hyperventilating and wheezing like a Chinaman at the Potala ( you gotta read it!) before Ais arrived back, whereupon I sprang up and faked a few toe touches. It's the air I think, it's thicker, south of the Equator.

We walked back to the house not realising that our little escapade had taken nearly 5 hours. Ais had promised a winner, winner chicken curry dinner so we hopped in Clint's Ute, mate ( it's the law) and went a shoppin'.

After I had expertly prepared the chicken, I handed over to Ais to cook. We dined on chicken curry, a veggie curry - prepared using the skills mastered at Orchha. ( you need to follow this to know), cucumber salad and lime pickle. Suffice to say the entire meal was mullered and we sat, fat and content while introducing another couple to the addictive qualities of Angry Birds.

We have a 5.30am alarm call tomorrow as we board 'The Overlander' train which takes us 12 hours through the heart of the North Island to the capital city of Wellington on the Southern tip, where we will overnight before catching the morning ferry across the Cook Straight and into Picton on the South Island, at which point we will board The Coastal Pacific train to.....anyway you get the picture.
More tomorrow, g'nite.

Home Alone 24/10

He Said...

After last nights festivities and microbrewery ale (7.8%) we were up in the morning ( 11am is still morning ) with just enough time to return the hire car and steal a newspaper, it was lying in the road!! Well a drive way...of a house, but it was in a bag and had no address... so I rescued it...ok?

Gina and Clint were headed to a barbie, mate ( you have to proceed barbie with "mate", it's the law over here) and I sent Ais to join them so I could get my head down for some searus trip horganizin.

We have just over a week to cover the South Island so my plan is as follows- and please feel free to comment and forward suggestions- quickly mind cos I'm writing this on the 25th!

Train from Auckland to Wellington and overnight
Ferry across Cook Strait
Train from Picton to Christchurch and overnight
Hire car in Christchurch and drive Arthurs pass
Drive down to the Franz Joseph glacier and overnight
Drive to Queenstown, stay for 3-4 days
Skydive, Helibike, bungi, rope-swing, jet boat
Drive to Milford Sound/Haven
Fly back to Auckland

I think it works, and I get to do train things again. Our accommodations will have to be somewhat meagre as everything else is expensive but apparently "...it's fun to stay in the YMCA..."
This will conclude the NZ section of the trip, the choices then are Oz, Fiji or possibly the US depending on some "things" that are brewing- we shall see.

Miss Gina knocked up a fabulous Italian dinner, it was just like the Jersey Shore, only in New Zealand, without any of the cast, and not on MTV. So same same, but different ( that will only make sense if you're a 'follower'.
Our trip starts Wednesday so tomorrow is a 'layday'.
Asta Mañana

Supermarkets pants 23/10

He Said...

On the wayback from the Pig and Whistle we stopped off at a supermarket for some water, some $60 and a bunch of random purchases later we left. Stupidly I had not brought any hundergarments when I packed to leave, so I was left to perform the shamely task of buying supermarket undies to tide me over, as I had worn the current ones inside out already.

Back at the hotel, everything smells of sulphur, apparently we need to bathe in toothpaste or bleach or something.

After a restless night, for some on the porcelain throne, we had to cancel the MTBing, God then made sure that the skydiving wasn't going to happen, so we took a stroll through the government gardens where they have more geothermal things, another world rated 'Polynesian Spa' and cool trees. On the way to brunch we passed a bike shop, or three.... before settling at Fat Dogs cafe ( named after his wife) ( I'm kidding!!) however I know why dog is fat- my French toast was an entire loaf with 3 bananas and a flagon of maple syrup, my Flat White was served in a cup with no handle, what normal folk refer to as a soup bowl. Ais (still on toast) had two doorsteps of cremated bread and a litre of tea.Thankfully they provided wheelchairs back to our car and off we set back to the city.

I drove, Ais slept, we arrived back after a brief fight with the SatNav just after 4 - plenty of time to organise the night festivities and a RWC venue.

All 4 million kiwis were headed to Auckland's party central to drink, paint themselves black and make merry so us all been foreign decided to find a local watering whole with big ass TV's.
Anyway, a tense 80 minutes concluded with the All Blacks holding onto a slim 8-7 victory over the French, their first World Cup win ever it would seem, and for a evening nothing else in NZ mattered to 4 million odd folk ( except those that don't follow rugby, and those too young to understand, those to old to care, those in bed, and the unfortunate French/Kiwis or Freewi's as I just called them- so maybe 3,425,000 odd)

Tomorrow is a day of planning, we haven't planned well enough in the past so need to spend a day organising the next expedition... to the South Island...

Middle Earth 22/10

He Said...

Our room rate included breakfast, so I ate a large Eggs B. Ais has Kiwibelly or the upsies and downsies as they are locally known so she is only allowed toast.

The former town of Te Wairoa was buried back in 1886 by the explosion of the three volcanoes of Mt Tarawera, hurling pyroclastic mud and ash over 9 miles from the crater. It is an amazingly well documented tragedy from all the journals, eye witness accounts and many artefacts that have been recovered, it is more internationally known as the explosion that also destroyed the Pink and White silica terraces, locally referred as the 8th Wonder if the World.
They also had the coolest little river which flowed from the Green Lake, it meandered it's way through the forest and.... ( just take that it was cool) Anyway, it culminated in a 30 metre waterfall which we were able to walk around, also cool.

On the way back we passed through the Redwood forest, one of the largest and most comprehensive mountain bike areas in NZ, as well as the neighbouring blue and green lakes, so named, because they are.

After a brief car park spat on my driving abilities we headed to 'Hells Gate' geothermal area and spa.

Now even though Grenada has it's sulphur springs I've never visited one before, it's akin to a moonscape, sulphur smelling and hot steam rising from the boiling waters and mud, some reaching 145 degrees.

Hells gate boasts the Southern hemispheres largest mud volcano as well as the largest hot waterfall, the smell was foul- but a dose of pedialite should sort her out.

After a 60 minute walk around the stink and sulphur and steam we opted for a mud bath followed by a hot sulphurous soak afterwards, apparently the Maori's have being doing this for ages, apparently though they didn't wear gold jewellery which corrodes due to the acidic nature of the water...

So wet and smelling of bad eggs we returned to our hotel ( a new 5* one in town) and straight out for dinner at the Pig and Whistle, a pub used to serving 400lb people judging by the portion sizes.
The hotel grading systems in NZ work like this, whatever the star rating, deduct 2 but maintain the exorbitant rate, remove some of the service and half clean the room, then charge a months salary for Internet.

Tomorrow we have planned a tear through the Whakarewarewe (say it three times fast) forest on MTB's and if the weather cooperates a tandem plane jump from 25,000 feet with 80 second free fall, and then maybe some lunch, before we drive back to Auckland for the RWC final.
Another dull day dar nunda then!

McKiwi 21/10

He Said....

We hired a manual Toyota Corolla with SatNav and set off the 240 odd miles to Rotorua, now NZ is an island the size of the UK but with a 15th of the population so whilst the roads are not 4 lane motorways, they are sparsely populated so you can drive freely.
As a part of my continued research into international McDonalds menues ( let's re-cap)

Nepal - McYak
India - McPaneer (Cottage cheese)
China - McDog
Tibet - McLama

We now have the McKiwi burger, a phenomenal 100% Angus beef burger, with bacon, chutney, beetroot, onion and a fried egg- it's the winner to date.

We really are driving through Middle Earth, the landscape is wild and untamed and just to confirm our suspicions we pass through the town of 'Hobbiton', the actual place where Lord of the Rings was filmed, can I get a whoop whoop!

Roturua sits on the South Eastern coast of it's names sake lake, it's endearing quality is the omnipresent stench of rotten eggs, such is the life in a geothermal town ( factoid- the earths crust is extremely thin here in some parts molten magma is only a mile from the surface)

Our hotel is apparently one of the top spas in the woooooooorld so we will try and confirm or deny that rumour later, for now we are headed to a traditional Maori village to learn a little about their culture and customs and more importantly tuck into a proper Maori Hangi ( think pepper pot or clambake with food buried over hot rocks and covered with wet cloth for 4 hours)

We were with about 100 others, our "tribe" consisted of 15 nationalities, we first inspected the food then visited the village where a peace offering to the Chief and tribe would be made. We were privy to village life, their songs, games, weapons and if course the Haka ( each tribe had it's own)

To do your own Haka, put on your wife's fox stole, as a skirt and duck tape some bush to your head, then take mascara pen close your eyes and draw four birds on your face ( owl, bat, kiwi and goose( ok I forgot the fourth bird))
Now eat a whole lemon followed by a pint of vinegar, this should produce the scary Haka 'warrier' face, stick out your tongue, open your legs ( easy now) and bend your knees, now slap all your exposed body parts chanting the below:

Ka mate, ka mate
Ka ora' Ka ora'.
Ka mate, ka mate
Ka ora Ka ora "
Tēnei te tangata pūhuruhuru
Nāna i tiki mai whakawhiti te rā
A Upane! Ka Upane!
Upane Kaupane"
Whiti te rā,!
Hī!

Try it next time a stranger comes to your door to sell you something you don't want.

The post Haka food was delicious, slow cooked chicken and lamb, veggies and salad and apparently traditional desserts of pavlova, chocolate log and trifle...who knew? We both over ate and waddled through the evening tour of a natural spring river with Maori war canoe and it's resident glow worms.
We took to the waters back at the hotel with a steam and sauna to boot, tomorrow we have a geothermal spa booked. As well as a tour of the New Zealand Pompeii.

Kei ēnā tikanga hoki!

20/10 Harold Faltermeyer

He Said...

Although I intended to run at 8am, due to the time difference I wasn't up till 9, nevertheless run I was going to. Clint was working so Ais and Gina joined me for a walk and we would meet up afterwards.
I braved shorts but doubled up on top, it was another brisk day with a strong wind blowing which propelled me down the beach road and all the way up the beach, running back into the wind was quite a different matter, I do make an effective wind break, but the cold air chilled and contracted my lungs as I ran. By the time I met up with the girls I had a good glow on and was weezing like a lardy asthmatic.

We walked back up the beach and then joined a National Forestry path up onto the cliffs, it's amazing how green the place is, as far as the eye can see, rolling green hills with a copse of fir trees and the seemingly out of place palm tree groves.

When you stop and listen there is a veritable avine orchestra, the sounds are incredible it's like Harold Faltermeyer having a seizure on his synthesiser, the main culprit I later discovered is the Tui bird which like the Myna has the ability to mimic sounds, our one must have been watching a road runner cartoon, the noises it was making were wild.

Our plan for the afternoon was to take the ferry from Devonport to Auckland and visit the Food and Wine Festival ( special guest Chef Gary Rhodes no less) as well as Party Central, which is a purpose built area of bars and restaurants specifically to cater for the World Cup. The girls had decided on fish for dinner so we would also pop into the Fish Market by the harbour.

The Food and Wine festival was just poor excuse to drink wine and beer and snack, which we did most well, the harbour was alive with All Blacks ( the team) Americas Cup boats, and Kiwis.

Now the thing about New Zealanders, that I noticed, right or wrong, is that they all seem to be attending an 80's Halloween party, the clothes are tres retro in that respect- snow washed jeans with ankle zips, boxer shorts over leggings, basketball boots with jeans tucked in and of course the Magnum P.I. manly moustache.
Then you get big ass rugby playing kiwis in XXXL rugby shirts, big work boots, huge socks either pulled up or rolled down ( al la Flashdance) and then in a coup de grace they pull out the 70's soccer shorts ( think Daisy Dukes) they call them stumpies, tough to get used to.

So anyhow, we took the ferry back which was delayed as it had collided with the other ferry, Pacific not big enough?
Tomorrow is the start of a long weekend in NZ, it is obviously also RWC weekend. We are headed to Rotorua, which is the volcanic capital of NZ as well as the Maori centre of the North island- Kia Ora!

Dar Nunda 18-19/10

He Said...

We arrived early afternoon on the Tuesday and spent the day settling in and catching up with old friends, so I've combined the two days into one...

So T.I.N.Z!
36 degrees South of the Equator ( I haven't flushed the toilet yet!) somewhere between the Tropic of Capricorn and the Antarctic Circle.The Ozone down here has deteriorated, so even on a cloudy day ( of which this is) the sun is fierce.

We soon realised even our Tibetan gear was not sufficient to cope with the ever fluctuating weather so a shopping trip was needed at the local mall, we are staying in Torbay which is on an island just off of Auckland, accessed by a bridge or Ferry so we headed downtown.

Now they say N.Z. is expensive and at US $170.00 for a pair of Levis - I can agree, I declined the purchase however Ais did much better with jeans and two sweaters for only $70.
We had dined out Italian last night after a chilled afternoon acclimatising, today we brunched at a seaside cafe as we watched the rain come down hard, it rained so long we had to stay for gelato :)
It would be sacrilege to be in NZ and not eat lamb so we bought all the ingredients for a good roast as well as a good bottle of local vino and had a lamb foursome care of Gina and Clint.

I will run tomorrow, there is beautiful bay at the bottom of the street with a long flat beach about a mile long, I figure if I don enough clothes I'll make it.
We have for the first time I can remember, a heater in my room, it does drop into the single digits at night!

6800 miles 17/10

He Said...

Our flight out of Bangkok was around noon which gave time for a lie in, a walk down to the Market and to post things home. We, now wisely, took a meter taxi to the airport which saved over 150 Baht over the regular fare ( ok, so that's only $5, but that's a large beer!)

Bangkok airport is another huge mall where you can buy everything you need, just for more money, I settled for a Starbucks, knowing that Singaping Changi airport is huge(r) and just two short hours away.

We had a 5 hour layover at Changi as our Auckland flight was an overnight departing at 9pm and arriving at 11.00am the next day. We managed to bag wing exit seats without charge (take note B.A.) and set about browsing the retail experience that is Changi - they also have a butterfly garden, a cinema and a huge spa!
Giorgio was calling, as was Hugo, Ralph tried and failed but the Billabong surf shop did well off me. I was lured into Sony and wooed with cameras, sorry Georgie didn't bite today! ( A35 or NEX-5)
Arriving at our seats having passed through the sofas that are First and Business (27" T.V. Screens!) we were faced with 6 bulkhead seats of kids, 6 very young children, six, together, next to me...Murphy was alive and well on this plane!

Note to all....when the Green Hornet comes to the cinema, make sure your busy, it's a bag of shite. Four large vodkas saw me off to an interrupted sleep and we arrived into country number eight on time.

New Zealand are pretty strict with their bio- security, there are large fines if you are found bringing in any kind of fruit, vegetable, meat or anything that could unsettle their ecosystem, they even check the soles of your shoes for rogue soil!
I have always wanted to visit New Zealand so I'm excited to explore it, we are staying with friends in Auckland ( big up Gina and Clint) and damn...
It's cold!

Thailand Highlights...The food and the evening sport
Lowlights...It may be the next Venice
Wish I had...Explored Chang Mai and more of the country
Wish I hadn't... Caught that ping pong ball (I'm kidding)

Same same, but different 16/10

Its still raining so we shun the Tuk- tuk and took a Meter taxi, which on our last day, we discovered, are much cheaper to get around.

I was told bikes in Bangkok are substantially cheaper because they are made locally, so after discovering a dedicated Specialized shop, we set off in search.
Now this store is the Shiznits ( bike geek alert) It has everything from the S-works SL3 to the Shiv and everything in between and in an array of colors....yey, but no...it was closed...I mean come on, really!
Thankfully being a bloke I had a back up plan so we headed to the Cervelo store. Whoever said the bikes are cheaper, lied, you can see, feel and smell every make and model but they are still cheaper in the States. I found a Tour de Thailand top which as I toured Koh Samui I figured I earned, and dammit it fit and that doesn't happen a lot.
The hunger monster was walking, neigh sprinting towards Ais, so we headed back to Kho San Market for some Pad Thai and Rugby, it rained heavily during lunch and the Kiwis trounced the Aussies in the semis, and we will be in NZ for the final, maybe I can finnagle some tickets.

Ais had booked a Thai cooking course at the hotel so she headed back, I stayed and nosied the markets ( and squeezed in a Thai massage) (Noooo, not that kind, a proper one). ( no, seriously, clear your mind).

I, wisely now, took a meter taxi back hoping that I had a nice Thai dinner waiting for me...and I did so it was a win win, Ais learnt how to make Thai and I ate it!

The only thing yet to do in Bangkok were the shows, you have a choice of venues from Patpong, Nanas and Soi Cowboy. My trusty friend KW, highly recommended Soi Cowboy ( vast in depth experience, no doubt) and the Internet highly recommended two clubs in particular, Long Gun and Baccarra, so off we set in another 'meter taxi' to the bright lights of the seedy city.

The most used ATM in Bangkok is undoubtedly at the far end of Soi Cowboy, Long Gun is second on the right and seemed to be hopping so we joined the crowds.
The idea is you don't pay any cover, but the drinks are 50% more expensive, and it works like this:
1/ The girls dance for three songs and they all have numbers
2/ You like a number you can request that she joins you
3/ You buy her drinks.
4/ If she likes you and you like her and want special times then you pay a fee to the bar and negotiate with the girl
5/ Happy times

I was allowed to get to point 1.... the ladies were dressed as school girls with short skirts, pig tails and white shirts, tied at the ribcage, the ladies upstairs on the glass dance floor had all forgotten their underwear and their tops kept falling off!

So we went upstairs ;)

I returned to the hotel with the same girl I left with, I figured it was the cheaper option, in the short term anyhow.
Flights 14 and 15 tomorrow, 6 time zones and several thousand miles. Let's see how they fair.

More Lain 15/10

We were up early for some last minute sun first by the pool and then we had to move down to the beach as we had to check out by noon and because the sun disappears behind the roofline of the house, our last lunch was had in the restaurant and then back to the beach, we took our first swim since we left Grenada in the Gulf of Thailand and then cooked ourselves, sapping up the last few rays of decent sunshine.
We have been lucky as all around us is rain and flood and we are still in Monsoon.
Our flight was late evening so after the sun went down we had a room to shower and change before heading to the airport.

The flight was quick but as we returned to the mainland the weather we had left, hadn't left and the thunder and lightening was still in full flow.

The hotel we left and now returned to, had a 3 ft brick wall around the lobby as well as an outer wall 2 ft deep of sandbags- Bangkokians were preparing for the worst and it was obviously yet to come.

When you book on line you save alot versus just arriving as we did last time, we didn't get breakfast included this time and the room was a little pokier but this is still a great hotel and location ( Shanghai Mansion).

We have one full day tomorrow. Bangkok so the plan is Market, bike shop, Rugby, massage, cooking class, ping pong...let's see how far we get!

Which is the 6th Sense? 14/10

The bike shop had two bikes for hire small and smaller, but with the seat jacked up I reckon I could last 3 hours, I was up at 7 and left at 8 as I wanted to be back before the sun got too silly, the bike slipped more gears than I changed, the chain hadn't seen oil...ever and came off twice but otherwise its a great island to bike around, they even have a bike lane.

The road follows the coast, I set off heading South down the East coast, the road has some good climbs, nothing challenging and the down hills are long, the sun stayed behind the clouds so it wasn't too hot, I was topless hoping for that tan top up but with the humidity the sun lotion was running so I looked more like I had been drafting a leaky ice cream truck...it was hot.

It took 3 hours to do the full loop so I was back for 11 to catch sleeping beauty just up from her slumber.

We took one last trip into town for last minute souvenirs, in Thailand because of the language barrier all deals are done on the Hagglator- they type in a price that would end world poverty- you type in a price so low they choke, and so the game continues until you reach a mutual price where you feel bargain and they don't feel too too bad.

Our last night was our dress up dinner ( we only have one dress up outfit each), I booked us into Six Senses ' On the Rocks' restaurant, they do this deconstructed menu which basically means you get what you ordered but it is presented in ways that are different and unexpected, I would download the menu but of course I have an I-crap and it doesn't do that, so go here: http://www.sixsenses.com/SixSensesSamui/Dining-and-Refreshments.php
It was a 10 course menu and ate up half of our weeks spend but it was a fun culinary experience, we waddled out and hit food coma as soon as we got back.

Last day tomorrow, probably the last say of sun too judging by the weather reports for Bangkok and the huddled wrapped up crowds at the Rugby World Cup, I'll dig out the gravy browning and coconut oil!

Tourists 13/10

He Said...

A good nights sleep and up relatively early today for some more horizontal pool side land sport, we had booked a car this afternoon ( listen to us....booking cars) to show us the delights of the island( it's only 60km around so it shouldn't be too long)
I also hired a mountain bike as tomorrow I shall circumnavigate said island and hopefully not die of heat stroke or big truck stroke.
There are a checklist of "to sees" in Samui and our driver had them all on his list. The Grandmother and Grandfather rocks are rocks that look like cock and VJJ, they have a habit of calling rocks things that they look nothing like, Elephant Rock for example looks nothing like an elephant, these two however do bear a reasonably striking resemblance to the aforementioned, judge for yourselves.

The next stop was the mummified monk, I have no idea why, I mean the dead guy is wearing Raybans, mummified, in a glass box?

Samui does have some beautiful waterfalls the ones we went to see were originally named Waterfall 1 and Waterfall 2, in the same comp,ex they had the usual elephants but also an amazing one tear old Tiger, it had been hand reared the idea being that pegope pay to take a picture with it and the money goes to saving Tigers in the wild.
It's one of the few animals I've never seen in the wild and it was really to be so close, he had a brother who was just two months old and the size of a puppy, in just 10 months he would be the size of this guy ( 3 metres on his hind feet)

The next stop was supposed to be the butterfly farm, so at this point we intervened and rescheduled, we continued North on the Western coast trying to find somewhere to take in the sunset, I remembered my friend Kristen and so we hopped into the Four Seasons, named dropped and took cocktails in the restaurant with a great sunset view, it sets at 6 pm on the nose so after a cocktail and soft shell crab appetiser we were back at the hotel by 7 pm and into the restaurant, this time we took the Western menu, it was good but when in Thailand, eat Thai.

I picked up the Thai Times at the hotel as the flooding in Bangkok is getting worse, our hotel is in the yellow sector which is only threatening 50cm floodwater, so that's okay then.
Bike tomorrow.

Dark day 12/10

There was no swimming at the beach today. This day shall remain dark, we didn't much leave the house, watched the balance of Mr Laarson's tattooed chick trilogy, ordered room service in. Missed the Full Moon Soiree.Everyone has them.That's it

Basted 11/10

He Said...

A six a.m. alarm call hasn't happened since India, so we struggled out of bed to be able to meet our 7 a.m pick up to Fisherman's Wharf to meet our speed boat to the islands, along with us were 50 or so chronic smokers who were cramming in the last pre boat Marlboro along with the weak coffee and bagged croissants supplied.

An hour later and me 3" shorter after our seat decision proved to be the wrong one ( who sits in the bow, who?) we arrived at our snorkel site whereupon 30 people jumped in an scared away the fish, so Ais and I took artistic shots.

After snorkelling it was another 20 minutes to our kayak venue where we navigated the rocky obelisks that form the archipelago. We landed on a beautiful sandy beach and paired up into our kayak teams and paddled around the islands and into caves and generally in circles as Ais was steering.
Lunch was served on the beach, green curry, rice, spring rolls and fresh fruit after which we had some siesta time underneath the palm trees or the gay folk played on the tree swings....

Our next destination was a hollow island ( they call it James Bond island), it's basically an old crater full of water and score one point for Mother Nature as the staircase up was 300 plus steep ass steps which Ais and I strided up passing our weezing compadres on the way and then on the way back down as they still struggled up.

By this tine it was past three and due to our position on the boat ( the bouncy end with no sun cover) we were both a little basted as we set off back to Samui.
As we approached the dock it became ominously dark and foreboding, Fisherman's Wharf had disappeared in a mist of White squall, our captain seeing that we were all dry, stopped the engines and waited it out in the bay... Did he hell, he drove at it full throttle so those heavy Tropical raindrops felt like 6" nails, needless to say we arrived looking like a cat that had just done a wash cycle ( without the smell of fresh meadow)

Our final option was one that sounded more exciting that it turned out to be, they were presented as follows:
ATV course
Elephant ride
Fish spa

What they actually were was:

Sit on lawnmowers on a 100m loop
I still don't do elephants
6 well fed fish not interested in feet

So that was a bit of a downer, and it was raining, so we called time of death and headed back.
We did the Rockpool thing again tonite with much success, dem boys does cook good!