Nissan Sunny 28/10

He Said...

We took a shuttle to the airport for our car pick up. Again to save cash we took an economy car, erm, it had a cassette player...only, and the door opened with a key!

By the time the woman had finished doing a check of the car for scratches and dents it looked as though she had sneezed biro on the page. Nevertheless it ran and we set off due West over Arthurs pass and through the Southern Alps to the Fox Glacier.

It is truly a spectacular drive, I don't know anywhere else on earth where you can look out of the drivers window and see rolling surf and white sandy beaches and then through the passenger window and see temperate rainforest and jungle then pine forests giving way to 10,000ft snowcapped mountains.

We had 380 odd kilometres to cover and it was flying by as the roads were quiet and the weather clear, it was all going well, we even stopped in a lay-by to take in the view only to be accosted by the Worlds only Alpine parrot- the Kea which means 'big ass nosey bird.'
But then as we pulled out of the lay-by, behind us a big blue articulated truck was using it's engine brakes to slow down on the steep incline, as we bottomed out of the ravine the truck caught up, then it did more than catch up, it actually got so close I could read not just the number plate but count the bugs on the grill, now you have to bear in mind that these are windy back country roads with no passing places so we have gone from quiet country drive to being Denis Hopper in the film classic - 'The Duel' ( rent it)
The speed limit is 100kph and I'm at 120 and this chap is still on my ass, even up hill he's never out of my mirror, now if I pull over he's going to gut us both with a paring knife, but then if I keep going he's going to nudge us over a cliff, but maybe if I brake hard and cause him to jack knife, I can pull on the hand brake with full right lock on, rotating 180 degrees as the trialer comes at me side on across the road and slide underneath him as he passes me in the road and falls off the cliff and into oblivion. So I decide to pull into a gas station and let him pass- not so scary then.

We arrive at Franz Josef and 20 minutes later Fox Glacier, we are surrounded by the Southern Alps and the snow capped twin peaks of Mt Cook and Mt Tasman. Mt Cook the tallest peak in New Zealand, at 3400 and something meters, is still lower than our Tibet hotel.

Now if you look at your digital camera, if it has a 'scene' setting there will be one called 'landscape' with a classic picture of an obscure mountain range reflected in a mirror-like lake, surrounded by pine trees, well here it be, Lake Matheson and the Southern Alps.

Motel for the night, Salmon and steak for dinner. Just Whitebait, Mussels, Rack of Lamb and Venison to check off the 'eat' list now, oh and a local Pinot Noir.

Ferry, Train and Automobile 27/10

He Said...

Another early start to catch the 8 am ferry to Picton, the journey across the Cook Strait (named after Gary Rhodes, probably, or Gordon Ramsey even) takes 4 hours, the ferry, it appears, from all the French nomenclature, to be an ex English channel ferry, so second hand then.
It's not getting any warmer so the jeans and Joseph fleece are back out.
Everyone in New Zealand is English, or at lease everyone I speak to, I can't imagine there are any gap year students left in Blighty, everyone else is Japanse ( I think there is a direct train route)

We grabbed a bite to eat in Picton before boarding the Pacific Coastal train for our 5 hour journey down the East Coast of the South Island to Christchurch, we set off through wine country, apparently this right hand corner receives twice as much sunlight as anywhere in New Zealand, so at least an hour a week then.

For all you trainophobes this journey is 347km, with 21 tunnels and 175 bridges, the train is a damn site faster than the last one so it's all a bit of a blur....and I fell asleep, so just imagine the rest...wine....whales...seals...sunshine.

In February of this year Christchurch was hit by an earthquake measuring 6.3 on the Richter scale, already rocked by a larger quake in November last year, already weak buildings were felled and 181 people lost their lives.
I wasn't really sure what to expect as we pulled into the station, it all seemed normal...
But then, when you look closer, as we drove in the taxi, you can follow cracks down the pavement, then they turn right up a wall, exploding it, or left up a building, splitting it in two.

The severity of it all didn't become apparent until we walked to the town centre - because we couldn't, it was all closed down...condemned. An 8 ft high fence sounded the entire central business district, you could see shattered glass, masonry and an upheaval in the road. When we walked around the fence line, buildings outside the zone had been uprooted from there foundations leaving a 4 " gap all around, restaurants were locked and empty, tables still set, a layer of dust on the tables, chairs knocked over as people had rushed out. Each building had it's own special marking designating its status: red for condemned, orange for under review and green for habitable. It was the silent eeriness of the place, no pedestrians no noise...difficult to describe. After walking an hour we managed to find one restaurant serving food, it must have been the only one open, as it was packed.

As a part of our budget accommodation drive we were staying at the YMCA, however our room was just a room with a shared bathroom, which apparently wouldn't do. In England if you want to use the bathroom it costs 20 pence, in Christchurch at the YMCA, it costs another $40. It maybe fun to stay at the YMCA, but it's not cheap to poop...I didn't see that in the lyrics

We pick up our car here tomorrow for the next 700 miles.

More train 26/10

He Said...

So here we are at the 'BritoMart Train Complex' at 6.30am, our train departs at 7.25am so we stock up on a few goodies and check in with the Train Manager on Platform number 3. Our bags are taken into the luggage car and we are shown to our seats, there are only 2 carriages and a dining car, the windows are huge and the rear of the train has an observation deck with a glass back, you can also wonder outside onto a small viewing platform behind the engine car.

It's the kind of train that Steven Seagal had in that movie where he was a n ex Special Forces Chef, except we don't have an upper deck or terrorists with a stolen seismic satellite laser or Katherine Heigel....pause...reflect...continue.

The train bisects the North island climbing to the volcanic plateau of 'National Park' and through its ski areas, passing around the base of three dormant volcanoes, covering 681 km, through 14 tunnels and crossing 352 bridges, I counted them all.
It's the best train journey so far with spacious seats, a stocked canteen and no smoking, (I so nearly said no Chinese, but then changed my mind) at several points we can see the railway below us as we chug through switchbacks, horseshoes and a full corkscrew as we climb over 1200 metres in less than 2 km distance, but 7 km of track.

We get one leg stretch stop and the long journey passes quite quickly without event. As we descend into the clouds shrouding Wellington it becomes apparent that the city was named after the boots you have to wear to live here, a short taxi ride takes us to the Shepherds Arms, our lodgings for the evening, which are happily spacious, clean and accommodating. The attached bar and restaurant provided typical pub fayre so we chowed down on Lamb Shank and Pie and Chips with local microbrewery ale.

I am yet to sample the staple West coast food of Whitebait ( small lightly battered fish) primarily because I can't find it anywhere, yet. In the South island, Lonely Planet says, we should eat Venison and Steak so that shouldnt be a problem washed down with a Marlborough region vino.

Our weight loss plan has basically gone to shit, but not literally as we had hoped may be the case, even the sporadic exercise I have squeezed in hasn't much helped, maybe the adrenalin pumping activities of Queenstown will change that- nevertheless we have declared the South Island a Carb free zone, so we'll see how long that lasts then.

Layday 25/10

He Said...

We were actually up at 10 this morning, so that's good then. We believe Ais is cured of all ailments so we set off for an invigorating beach walk/run, only this time when the beach ended...we carried on, another 4 kilometres or so, following the cliff line, boulder and rock pool hopping, passing rivers that just flowed right off the cliff face and trees, horizontal from the cliff, seemingly hanging on for dear life.
Thankfully as we passed through the nudist beach ( think pink fat blokes in cowboy hats) the trees were the only wood we saw, and when I say we, I don't mean me 'cos I wasn't looking.

Our beach jaunt ended at an estuary so we cut in and followed the trail back over the top of the cliffs, I, in my wisdom, decided to run back thinking it would be a nice flat trail....no siree Bob, it was not, but thankfully I had a good 15 minutes of hyperventilating and wheezing like a Chinaman at the Potala ( you gotta read it!) before Ais arrived back, whereupon I sprang up and faked a few toe touches. It's the air I think, it's thicker, south of the Equator.

We walked back to the house not realising that our little escapade had taken nearly 5 hours. Ais had promised a winner, winner chicken curry dinner so we hopped in Clint's Ute, mate ( it's the law) and went a shoppin'.

After I had expertly prepared the chicken, I handed over to Ais to cook. We dined on chicken curry, a veggie curry - prepared using the skills mastered at Orchha. ( you need to follow this to know), cucumber salad and lime pickle. Suffice to say the entire meal was mullered and we sat, fat and content while introducing another couple to the addictive qualities of Angry Birds.

We have a 5.30am alarm call tomorrow as we board 'The Overlander' train which takes us 12 hours through the heart of the North Island to the capital city of Wellington on the Southern tip, where we will overnight before catching the morning ferry across the Cook Straight and into Picton on the South Island, at which point we will board The Coastal Pacific train to.....anyway you get the picture.
More tomorrow, g'nite.

Home Alone 24/10

He Said...

After last nights festivities and microbrewery ale (7.8%) we were up in the morning ( 11am is still morning ) with just enough time to return the hire car and steal a newspaper, it was lying in the road!! Well a drive way...of a house, but it was in a bag and had no address... so I rescued it...ok?

Gina and Clint were headed to a barbie, mate ( you have to proceed barbie with "mate", it's the law over here) and I sent Ais to join them so I could get my head down for some searus trip horganizin.

We have just over a week to cover the South Island so my plan is as follows- and please feel free to comment and forward suggestions- quickly mind cos I'm writing this on the 25th!

Train from Auckland to Wellington and overnight
Ferry across Cook Strait
Train from Picton to Christchurch and overnight
Hire car in Christchurch and drive Arthurs pass
Drive down to the Franz Joseph glacier and overnight
Drive to Queenstown, stay for 3-4 days
Skydive, Helibike, bungi, rope-swing, jet boat
Drive to Milford Sound/Haven
Fly back to Auckland

I think it works, and I get to do train things again. Our accommodations will have to be somewhat meagre as everything else is expensive but apparently "...it's fun to stay in the YMCA..."
This will conclude the NZ section of the trip, the choices then are Oz, Fiji or possibly the US depending on some "things" that are brewing- we shall see.

Miss Gina knocked up a fabulous Italian dinner, it was just like the Jersey Shore, only in New Zealand, without any of the cast, and not on MTV. So same same, but different ( that will only make sense if you're a 'follower'.
Our trip starts Wednesday so tomorrow is a 'layday'.
Asta Mañana

Supermarkets pants 23/10

He Said...

On the wayback from the Pig and Whistle we stopped off at a supermarket for some water, some $60 and a bunch of random purchases later we left. Stupidly I had not brought any hundergarments when I packed to leave, so I was left to perform the shamely task of buying supermarket undies to tide me over, as I had worn the current ones inside out already.

Back at the hotel, everything smells of sulphur, apparently we need to bathe in toothpaste or bleach or something.

After a restless night, for some on the porcelain throne, we had to cancel the MTBing, God then made sure that the skydiving wasn't going to happen, so we took a stroll through the government gardens where they have more geothermal things, another world rated 'Polynesian Spa' and cool trees. On the way to brunch we passed a bike shop, or three.... before settling at Fat Dogs cafe ( named after his wife) ( I'm kidding!!) however I know why dog is fat- my French toast was an entire loaf with 3 bananas and a flagon of maple syrup, my Flat White was served in a cup with no handle, what normal folk refer to as a soup bowl. Ais (still on toast) had two doorsteps of cremated bread and a litre of tea.Thankfully they provided wheelchairs back to our car and off we set back to the city.

I drove, Ais slept, we arrived back after a brief fight with the SatNav just after 4 - plenty of time to organise the night festivities and a RWC venue.

All 4 million kiwis were headed to Auckland's party central to drink, paint themselves black and make merry so us all been foreign decided to find a local watering whole with big ass TV's.
Anyway, a tense 80 minutes concluded with the All Blacks holding onto a slim 8-7 victory over the French, their first World Cup win ever it would seem, and for a evening nothing else in NZ mattered to 4 million odd folk ( except those that don't follow rugby, and those too young to understand, those to old to care, those in bed, and the unfortunate French/Kiwis or Freewi's as I just called them- so maybe 3,425,000 odd)

Tomorrow is a day of planning, we haven't planned well enough in the past so need to spend a day organising the next expedition... to the South Island...

Middle Earth 22/10

He Said...

Our room rate included breakfast, so I ate a large Eggs B. Ais has Kiwibelly or the upsies and downsies as they are locally known so she is only allowed toast.

The former town of Te Wairoa was buried back in 1886 by the explosion of the three volcanoes of Mt Tarawera, hurling pyroclastic mud and ash over 9 miles from the crater. It is an amazingly well documented tragedy from all the journals, eye witness accounts and many artefacts that have been recovered, it is more internationally known as the explosion that also destroyed the Pink and White silica terraces, locally referred as the 8th Wonder if the World.
They also had the coolest little river which flowed from the Green Lake, it meandered it's way through the forest and.... ( just take that it was cool) Anyway, it culminated in a 30 metre waterfall which we were able to walk around, also cool.

On the way back we passed through the Redwood forest, one of the largest and most comprehensive mountain bike areas in NZ, as well as the neighbouring blue and green lakes, so named, because they are.

After a brief car park spat on my driving abilities we headed to 'Hells Gate' geothermal area and spa.

Now even though Grenada has it's sulphur springs I've never visited one before, it's akin to a moonscape, sulphur smelling and hot steam rising from the boiling waters and mud, some reaching 145 degrees.

Hells gate boasts the Southern hemispheres largest mud volcano as well as the largest hot waterfall, the smell was foul- but a dose of pedialite should sort her out.

After a 60 minute walk around the stink and sulphur and steam we opted for a mud bath followed by a hot sulphurous soak afterwards, apparently the Maori's have being doing this for ages, apparently though they didn't wear gold jewellery which corrodes due to the acidic nature of the water...

So wet and smelling of bad eggs we returned to our hotel ( a new 5* one in town) and straight out for dinner at the Pig and Whistle, a pub used to serving 400lb people judging by the portion sizes.
The hotel grading systems in NZ work like this, whatever the star rating, deduct 2 but maintain the exorbitant rate, remove some of the service and half clean the room, then charge a months salary for Internet.

Tomorrow we have planned a tear through the Whakarewarewe (say it three times fast) forest on MTB's and if the weather cooperates a tandem plane jump from 25,000 feet with 80 second free fall, and then maybe some lunch, before we drive back to Auckland for the RWC final.
Another dull day dar nunda then!