Tuesday 1 November 2011

Stupid coffee cups 1/11

He Said...

Pinch and a punch.
Another early start, another 7-11 breakfast and hotel sachet coffee. We chose the VIP bus, it has WiFi, bigger glass windows and a glass roof, so I wont be throwing stones then.
We have a 5 hour bus journey to Milford Sound, but it's not a Sound it's A Fjord as it was created by ice flow, but then Milford Fjord is a bit of a mouthful, it was discovered by a Norweigan family and named after the mother, an attractive an buxom woman, lore has it.

There is very little West of Queenstown, we passed the 45 degree South, line of latitude and cruised through Te Anau, the last outpost before you reach the National Park, named after the American Actor Te Anau Reeves, who also played Superman.

Milford Sound was created in the 1980's when James Cameron, Steven Speilberg and Peter Jackson all got together to discuss a location for their up and coming movies (Jurassic Park, Lord of the Rings and Avatar) it is in fact the Worlds biggest film set, if a Teradactyl swooped down from one of the cliffs it wouldn't be out of place.
Blue glacial lakes and rivers give way to shear 1000m cliff faces where waterfalls cascade off and never land as the wind whips them up into the air, they pour off in every direction like white lines of icing on a granite cake (how metaphoric)

The Sound itself is an inlet out to the Tasman Sea, once a glacier that looked at Fox and Granz Joseph and laughed as its ice fields were over 2 km thick in places, ( that's like 6 miles) Now the Fjord is 800 metres deep and the cliffs either side rise 1200m up from the waters.

We join a cruise boat and skirt the Fjord, as we return we make a pass through a 120 metre waterfall and its spray, as it slams into the water, Ais shouts to join her at the stern, before disappearing behind a wall of White water, I stayed Starboard, I stayed dry.
And then we berthed for our return trip on the glass bus, 10 hours on a bus for 90 minutes in a Fjord, worth it you ask?
Well you will never experience anything so raw, so primordial and so pure and unspoilt - so get there before the motorways, the Milford jet ski tours and the Milford Starbucks do.
Back to Auckland tomorrow, Gina please put the kettle on!

Oh, as for the title, which slim fingered Italian invented the cappuccino cups with those stupid handles on than no one can pick up, unless of course they are 3, and how many three years old order cappuccinos, they are of no use to man nor beast. Either take the handle off, a la Fat Dogs, or put on a proper handle with which the cup can be picked up....I don't ask alot.

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