Thursday 17 November 2011

This is it 16/11


The title is fitting, Michael Jackson used it and then his concert and his life were cut short, by a Grenadian... now I'm using it because my trip has been cut short and I'm returning to Grenada- you can see the natty segue there.

Had a night out on the beach yesterday at The Raleigh with my good friend RVE, Mojitos flowed and the time flew, he had just flown from Qatar and came straight from the airport so Nuff respect there.

It's Wednesday, the flight leaves at 4.30pm, I've been up since 7.30am so I can make the day last as long I can. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I don't want to go to Grenada, it's just that I don't want to go to Grenada, just now.

So we experienced the new Miami rental car centre and monorail, for some reason the monorail only goes halfway after which point you have to take 4 moving walkways and an elevator- a little half assed if you ask me.

And $4 for a luggage cart, I don't want to buy the thing I want to push my luggage a few hundred feet, I know it sounds like penny pinching and I'm sure they need to pay for their half monorail somehow, but where else in the world do you pay for luggage trolleys, I've been to 16 international airports in the last 3 months and not paid a dime for a luggage cart, come on Miami, you'll be charging us to use the freeways next!!

The sphincter army were thankfully on lunch when we checked in and so all our luggage was checked without incident, but oh, oh the TSA- a sea of blue at security, it appears they have a program now where every passenger gets their own individual TSA agent, there are so many of them and they are all like the "misshapes" biscuits you get after Easter, they are either massively tall, unfeasible muscly or mainly vastly overweight, it is a Fluster Cluck of the highest order, a case of too many cooks if there ever was one.

I so wanted to have a Glock and a Berretta concealed on my personage just to see if Sharonesquia would put down her lipstick or Wayne would stop flexing his muscles and relax his "dog butt" mouth facial expression (think about it) for a moment and notice, but no, I'm gunless so instead they pull my bag and identify a dangerous looking padlock and a potentially lethal bottle of Supergreen powder- the world is now thankfully a safer place.

I think for the first time on a Grenadian flight home I know no one, a mix of elderlies and students but no familiar faces.
The round the world loop is almost complete, 32,156 miles if you have been counting- 9 and a half countries, (I have a t- shirt from each one!) 4 more un-visited countries due to monsoons, typhoons and other oon sounding calamities, 3 passport visas, 1 tourism visa, one half country, one autonomous dependancy and one Rugby World Cup. From sea level to 5400 metres, as far South as 45 degrees (Milford Sound, NZ) and as far North as 53 degrees (Manchester, UK!!), across both Tropics, the Equator and the International date line, we've covered mountains, tundra, permafrost, desert, glacial lakes, holy rivers, earthquake zones and geothermal zones, fjords, waterfalls- both above ground and under. We've seen rhinos, tigers, cheetahs, ephliphants, crocodiles, llamas, buffalo, yak, emu, kiwi, glow worms and 40 million sheep ( yep, there are that many in NZ). We've flown in planes both jet and prop, ridden in buses, tuk tuks and tut tuts, (including the Executive ones) 1st class trains, 2nd class trains, sleeper trains and scenic trains, taken sea ferries, paddled canoes, hopped in taxis, jumped on river cabs and river ferries, taken metros, monorails and meter cabs, mobilised with elephants, trekked on horses and horsed around on Treks ( it's a bike). We've even had 26 hours go by but only register 5 on the clock.

And now it appears we are back, but in the best possible Grenadian accent...

I think we've come back, to go out again....

Wednesday 16 November 2011

Tempus does Fugit 10-15/11

He Said...

So we checked out of The Astor and took up residence in the Design District courtesy of good friends Nicole and Julien and their new son to be, Jeraboam.

The hotel tried to sting me with a 'Resort Fee' which meant I could go and stand in their sister properties 4 ft deep pool or take a hotel towel ( think facecloth) and go to the beach, I politely declined and after words with the management said fee was waived.

It must be nice to live in Miami and do this every day, unfortunately I only have a hired Ford Focus and not the Lamborghini, Ferrari or Maybach that is required to afford such a lifestyle.

But for the time being I'm content with my Cheesecake Factory Cobb Salad and Linda's Chocolate chocolate Fudge cake, Jerry's diner Eggs Benedict and a Mojito or three from Espanola Way...the Ballers car will have to wait.

So we covered Bal Harbour, Aventura, Sawgrass, Coconut Grove and Lincoln, we have eaten Thai- both in and out, Tapas, Five Guys, Bistro, Bahamian ( crab claws) and American (Ceasar salad)

Hit the movies again and saw Real Steel with Hugh Jackman and Evangeline Lilly ( sigh)- think Rocky with robots, its worth a watch) and also The Immortals, a film based on Greek Mythology with Micky Rourke, that chick from Slumdog Millionaire and some toffee nosed Brit, its an absolute utter bag of shite, watch it in 3D and you'll be able to touch the bag of shite as it flys from the screen at you.

Got the hair cut finally after 14 weeks and touched up the tattoo, no longer will I be associated with the 90's rave scene.

And now it's time to come home, for a week anyway then I'll be back up here to see a man about a job. So back to reality, oops there goes gravity.

Listening to PitBull (Mr Worldwide) Shake SeƱora- check it out and tell me which bootie your girlfriend has!



Sunday 13 November 2011

I'm in Miami B@*#h and everybody's shufflin' 7/8/9 November

He Said...

What's to say, it's Miami ...shopping, Mojito'in, eatin, people watchin' lyin' in.

The weather is fine, rental car with GPS will travel, it's all to do.

Can't find a decent cruise to hop on and the island flights are ridonculously priced so I think were gonna hang here and drop in on our friends Nicole and Julien for the weekend.
We have a huge list of things to do and find, like Spirulina, nail scissors, Excellerade and Mederma...it's going to be so exciting!

There seems to be a coffuffle about town concerning Friday, it's apparently an auspicious date, a lucky date, so at just before quarter past eleven on Friday if you have a digital watch it will read 11.11.11 11.11.11, so that's good then.

It's real easy to just hang in Miami, shops dont open till 10 at the earliest and stay open till past 10 at night, you can eat any nationality you want, the weather is cool who wouldn't want to be in a town that doesn't start till 10 am, it's my kinda town!
It's also tattooage central so were going to be playing with that too, the drug reference is a litle tired even though I know what it means and others don't need to, it's time to jazz it up a little.

So posts for the next few days maybe a little sporadic, just be content in the knowledge that I'm either:

1. On a beach
2. In a bar drinking Mohitos
3. Seeing exactly what my credit limit is in Bal Harbour
4. Drooling over Carbon Frames

And photos will be limited, you all know what Miami looks like and if not just imagine White sand beaches, turquoise waters, palm trees dipping into the ocean and semi clad women serving Mojitos...it's exactly like that!

Tuesday 8 November 2011

Velophilia 6/11

He Said...

It's all kind of melted into one long weekend of travel we arrived today, drove from Hollywood to SoBe, couldn't check in at 6 am (why?) so went to Jerry's diner on Collins for breakfast.

Ais then conveniently fell asleep in the hotel lobby allowing me to escape and satisfy my velophilia at the US' largest Tri store, I won't bore you non bike folk with the details but for those that are bikey, think Pinarello Dogma, Specialized Shiv, Quintano Roo CD01, the new SL4 Venge and all those in-between.

By the time I was all biked up and had driven back to the hotel, the room was ready and Madam was still asleep.
We are already making plans and finding excuses not to come back, whether we just hang in SoBe for a while, hop over to the islands, or jump on a cruise ship to anywhere...anything to stall the tsunami of reality that is rearing itself up in front of us.

Posts might be a tad scant over the next few days until something happens, be assured I'm just chillin', not necessarily like a villain, but chillin, none the less.

Groundhog 5/11...again!

He Said...

We arrive in Los Angeles 8 hours before we leave Auckland and we then arrive in Miami 5 hours after we leave Auckland, but in the middle of all that we lose 25 hours.

So Air NZ premium economy...it looks like BA business class, smells like BA business class but still tastes of economy. It all looks very stylish, all new white leather cubicles with buttons and lights, a beanbag for your feet and video on demand, nice menu, snacks and drinks orderable off the touchscreen TV, big soft pillow and blanket, a simple but adequate sleep kit and it all seems value for money....until that is you try to sleep.

Now the chairs reline, well they slide forward and the seat part drops...a bit... but because it's a 'pod' your seat doesn't actually go back and your legs can't stretch any further than the foot cubbyhole you have...it just doesn't work and not just because I'm the Jolly White Giant but because form came before function, aesthetics championed comforthetics ( new word alert) because the people that designed it probably never spent a night in it, and don't just take my word for it, read Ais' blog.... Oh wait...riiiiiiiight, never mind.

It's really simple airline people... buy 300 lazy boys with manual recline, bolt them to the floor and give them a seatbelt, anybody can fall asleep in a big fat lazy boy! Forget all the fancy artisan food, we can eat before we get on, keep back some Pringles, a Mountain Dew and a cup of Joe for the morning, make sure the toilets are spacious enough so a bloke can pee without contorting himself in some weird super yoga pose and then clean them, frequently.

And that's pretty much it, stop trying to out design each other, it's not the MOMA it's a flying cinema, an air lounge, a sky sitting room...think of it as so.

Suffice to say we arrived in LAX out of it, like zombies, and had 7 hours to kill before our Jet blue red eye to Florida, which by the time we landed at 4.30 am in Fort Lauderdale I was over flying anywhere anytime soon so I'm gonna hang in the MIA for a while.

If you need me, I'm at the Astor on SoBe.
Peace.

Remember, Remember 5/11

He Said...

Our last day in the Southern Hemisphere, on the Australasian sub-continent, in the Pacific Ocean, in "The land of the long White cloud"... You get the drift.

We packed yesterday, so after a lie in we headed out for lunch. Clint and I headed to the local range first to bang some balls ( that's Golf, people) whilst Gina and Ais went out for a coast walk, we reconvened at a local Bistro for lunch and freshly ground in house coffee ( they do do coffee well, the Kiwis)

Our flight departed at 10.45pm so we had booked a pick up at 7.45, our hosts had a barbecue to attend so we said our goodbyes and thankyou's and took in the last few rays of Southern sun.

Our trip has been cut short by some 2 months, partly because our Southern Asian plans had been somewhat thwarted by the Typhoon and Monsoon rains experienced in Thailand, Vietnam and Cambodia and partly because I am chasing an opportunity which really needs me to be Atlantic side.

We are booked back on Air NZ Premium Economy, it looks all fancy and such on their website, let's hope it's not all Stetson and no cattle

New Zealand Highlights... It's an amazing country, a geological infant but with such a diversity of features, topography, flaura and fauna.

Lowlights...Why is it so damn expensive...why is a bottle of Marlborough Pinot Noir cheaper in the States than it is in New Zealand, why does an appetiser of locally caught whitebait cost $24.00 a d why do I have to check out of a hotel at 10am?

Wish I had...Done more of the amazing things on offer, hiking, parachuting, rafting...etc

Wish I hadn't...Left actually, it was growing on me, even the Britishesque climate was bearable.

Poo fishing 3/4 November

He Said...

I guess we could have flown back from Queenstown to Auckland and taken our scheduled flight back to LAX, but I guess we weren't ready to leave just yet and maybe also needed a few days wind down before being faced with the reality of being back Stateside.

We spent the days lazily, dining at seaside cafes, spent a day in Auckland loitering around town, my jeans found a charitable store along with some other donated items, to lighten the load and because they were bought specifically for the trip and will only take up closet space. In there place is a pair of Levis, and not the usual 501's, No Sir, these are 538's and they have a zip thing where the buttons usually go!

We caught a movie with Timberlake, which was mildly entertaining and would certainly have been cheaper waiting till it came on DVD ( $65 for two tickets, water, popcorn and M&M's....come on NZ, really!?)

As we waited for our pick up home (Thankyou Gina....again) at the cross roads of Queen Streetand Kiwi Road ( probably) it is amusing to note that when the lights change to red and pedestrians can cross, they dont do the thing of walking in the pelican crossing from street to street...in NZ they go diagonally, across the centre of the intersection taking the shortest possible route...I've never seen that happen anywhere else, they're so unruly! So much so that I had to dash into the middle of the road, mid red light and sit down in the centre of the busiest intersection in the biggest city in New Zealand...as you do...and besides I would not have any photos for this blog otherwise.

So yeah, lazy few days relaxing with our friends, enjoying the weather, eating, not exercising dreading tomorrow really, not just because of the 26 hour flight marathon but because of the reality that the journey, the trip, the adventure maybe coming to an end. Boooooooooooo ! :(